I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
