he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
