I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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