i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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