My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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