Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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