On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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