She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
