Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
