Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
