we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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