Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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