All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
