Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
