Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just gift wrapped bread.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
