Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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