he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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