So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
