in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
