used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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