so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
