Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
