just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
