according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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