he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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