ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
time to smoke my breakfast
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Couch. On fire.
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