Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we're making bets on your personal life
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
