You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
