if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
