Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
