Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
