She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
