you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
