rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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