dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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