i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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