I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
