The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
