He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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