My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
