Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
