nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
