shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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