Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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