i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can text with my tongue
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
