Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
