There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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