You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize