Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
