I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize