No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
