if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
