Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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