i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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