so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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