So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i think i just lost a toe
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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