Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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