After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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