People in love make me want to vomit
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
do herpes really smell.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
