Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
