Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
