Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
