Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
