weddingsv make me drug and hornr
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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