i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
