Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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