If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
